Hey, guess what?

I haven't blogged in ages. And though I have never consistently blogged, I'm feeling the need to (try and) start up again...

I'm at work right now and thus I cannot write to my heart's content. But here are some blog topics I may expound upon when the opportunity arises. Just to whet your appetite:

1. Valentine's Day Engagement. Holy crap, I'm engaged! (To Braden, if you were wondering ;) haha) That's certainly newsworthy. Right?

2. I was recently the victim of a potential hate crime, ala The Office (read: someone threw a blueberry muffin at my car).

3. General Dallas v. Nashville v. Kentucky comparisons

4. How much I hate my Jeep now that gas costs $14/gallon.

5. My new shoe collection!

6. Weight Watchers... yeah, you read that correctly.

7. My sister's wedding (ETA: June 8th at 6:30 pm) :)

That is all for now. I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas, New Years, Valentine's, St. Patrick's, Easter, and Memorial holiday weekend.

xoxoxoxo!

I ::heart:: Nashville

Dear long underserved readers,

If I can get three people (three!) to comment on this post then I promise (PROMISE!) to start blogging again.

A lot has changed since I last wrote. I've spent nearly six months adjusting to the ways of Texas, more specifically Dallas. I admit it still doesn't quite feel like home. My hair fits in well enough, and the rest of my exterior is catching up (sans silicone/botox/etc. injections). It's just my dang heart that's lagging behind...

And now begins my recollection of all things "Nashville," through only somewhat rose-colored lenses. I can't go in to all the reasons why I miss it so much, though friends rank right up there at the top. I don't have enough ways to say Nashville was home and not just a place I lived for a time. But rest assured that there's not a soul I've met in Dallas who doesn't know that there's a town in Tennessee that will always be #1 for me.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing to complain about here, and I stand by my decision to move. I have a good job and opportunity to grow both personally and professionally within that job. I have great friends who make it hard to think about ever leaving this place. I have every kind of shopping, dining, and entertainment within a five mile radius. I have a wonderful man in my life who calms my nerves, puts up with my antics, and most importantly loves me without condition. I can't say this enough: spending time with Braden is the best part of my day and an affirmation of why I made the decision to load that Uhual and make the trek.

Still, I find myself pushing away the feelings of "homesick" and "restlessness." I can only trust that God has big plans in store, and I can only hope that someday He'll see it fit to either change my location or change my heart. (Please, Jesus -- sooner than later? Thank you.)

'Til then, I'll be gearing up for a holiday season spent within the borders of the Volunteer State. Hope to see y'all around! xoxo.

Still can't bring myself to sing "Rocky Top,"
Sarah <3

P.S. IF I continue to blog, 2008 will likely be the year of the parenthetical statements (see above).

This seems funny... That's what she said!

Heeeeeeey! And you thought I wasn't coming back. Goldilocks has been on a bit of a break (okay, an eight month hiatus with not even so much as a sentence). Y'all have been patient with me, and I make a sincere (albeit unlikely) promise to blog more frequently. The thing is, the wait was worth it! I promise you're going to like this one:

A good and very funny friend (Amy), her husband (Mike), and I were out to dinner at Mellow Mushroom earlier this month. When Amy and I get together there will be laughter, the telling and retelling of stories and jokes, and more laughter. We were deep in conversation -- trading tales about college days, Mike's Japanese clients who love singing karaoke (imagine how funny it would be to hear "You say tomato, I say tomato" when the singer doesn't understand the difference in a long or a short second syllable...! The irony's a bit lost.), and inside jokes from our dance school days -- when Amy suddenly looks over at Mike and says, "we have to tell Sarah about our 40-year old virgin."

Here's the skinny: they have this friend of a friend who is nearing 40-years of age. She has (essentially) never been kissed and is what most of us would consider socially backwards. Or maybe she's just naive. But in any case, she's much like the 40-year old virgin and a group of folks were attempting to help this woman loosen up, learn some pop culture, and improve her social status. We're gonna have to give her a name: how about Jill?

(This is important before we proceed with the story. If you watch "The Office" you know about Michael Scott retorting "that's what she said" whenever anything even remotely sexual is spoken. If you don't watch this show: a. I'm sorry for you; b. check this out before reading the rest of this blog; c. START WATCHING THE SHOW! Okay...so...)

Amy, Mike and the others were trying to teach "Jill" how funny it is to throw in a little "that's what she said" action when you're with friends or in a casual social setting. She seemed to catch on to the concept. A few days later, Jill seized an opportunity to use her new-found punchline...only she delivered it just a little bit off. Instead of the usual "that's what she said," our girl Jill quips, "yeah..........(very pregnant pause)............she said that." And apparently the look on her face was one of total pleasure, as Jill was so sure she had pulled off the joke without a hitch! Hilarious. Seriously, if you're not laughing you need to re-read that out loud...because that's funny. It's also might be a lot better when I tell you in person, but whatever.

Side note: Steve Carell plays both the 40-year old virgin and Michael Scott. The Irony gods have smiled on our story.

And that's how we get back in to blogging. Mary Anna Brown and others, you are WELCOME! :) See you around the bloggin-sphere.

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year

For four years of college I was a member of my university’s nationally recognized dance company. We put on two major performances a year – one at the end of fall semester and one half-way through the spring semester – and the former was presented with the city’s philharmonic as an annual Christmas “must-see.” It was all kind of a grand event and required a lot of prep work in terms of rehearsals, costuming, scenery, etc. Practices for the December show began in August and in conjunction with the first week of classes. As a result, you might find a dancer humming “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” or “Silver Bells” on a day when you could, quite literally, fry an egg on the sidewalk.

I tell you that to tell you this.

I’ve been conditioned to begin thinking “Christmas” as soon as the “school season” begins…and I’m not even in school anymore! Over the past month and a half, I’ve found myself thinking green and red and beginning to long for the days when the Mix stations will play nothing but carols and hymns. I mean, come on, who out there doesn’t count the days until he/she hears Nat King Cole crooning “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”? or Brenda Lee bebopping to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas tree”? or Karen Carpenter wailing out “Merry Christmas Darling”? (okay, maybe we could do without that one, Mix-Mas…) And of course any and every popular artist ever doing their own version of “Silent Night” (which I of course don’t mind ‘cause I really love that song and think every child ought to be able to sing its first verse and chorus).

So, anyway, taxicab confession: I popped in Amy Grant’s “A Christmas Album” the other day. I think it was like September 5. And it was definitely 98 degrees outside (a la Nick Lachey).

Regardless, I feel good about the choice. It's allowed me to wax nostalgic about my college years, but I've also discovered that having the Christmas fun last for 4 and a half months is really not such an awful thing. I’m hopeful that others will follow suit and begin to embrace the pre-pre-pre-Christmas excitement.

And tell me you're not singing now...

Weekend Update: halfway through the next week

Yes, I've been gone for far too long. I have like 16 blog ideas though, so I think you'll (eventually) forgive me. Besides, there are only four of you reading....or are there more? Reveal yourselves.

I went home for Labor Day weekend, back to my Old Kentucky Home. I won't bore you with all of the ins and outs, but I can just tell you want the highlights.

1. Friday night my high school friend Sarah Myers came over to my parents house before she and I went out to catch up for a bit. She was dressed stylishly, complete with pointy-toed stilletos. My father, the family doctor, was deep in discussion with her about...something, it doesn't matter...but all of a sudden he asked about her shoes -- if they were comfortable, where her toes fit into the point, etc. After a couple of minutes of Spanish Inquisition about her footwear I finally asked my dad "why the fascination?" His response: "Well, as a doctor, they kind of bother me." Maybe you have to know my daddy but it was just really funny. Priceless.

2. He and my mother also shared the "Exploding Deer" story with Sarah and me. This is without a doubt the most unbelievable story I've ever heard, but I assure you it is legit. I'll try and be brief which, as you've probably noted from my previous blogs, is not an easy feat. Also, if you're weak-stomached you might wanna just go ahead and skip to point three.

So there's this couple, right? And they're driving down the highway in Virginia. It's the middle of the day. All of the sudden a deer jumps out into the road with the intention of leaping over their vehicle. Only said deer does not so much clear the car. Instead, he hits the driver's side window......and explodes. (I know, I didn't believe it either.) Apparently, the deer's upper portion continued through to the backseat and through the trunk/back window. In the mean time, the deer's heart hit the wife/driver in her own chest and then landed on the console between the couple, still beating and just on top of the husband's still playing iPod. The deer's stomach exploded all over the wife as well; its contents -- mostly poison ivy -- were also spewed onto this dear woman (pun intended). Everything in their trunk -- clothes, guitar, golf clubs -- was covered in gunk. Amazingly the wife did not wreck the car (YAY women drivers!) and pulled off the road, only to have her friends in the car behind them snap photos of the whole scene. I'm still trying to get my hands on those. The EMTs arrived and were shocked and slightly amazed; one of them lost his lunch. They hosed the wife off, but it was too late. She is now suffering from what my dad calls "the worst case of poison ivy I've ever seen." I mean, how do you explain to people how you got that skin malady? I'd probably say, "oh, deer-me, it just took guts." Everyone's hoping they'll take their story to David Letterman. Or maybe Jeff Foxworthy.

3. Let's be honest: after that nothing really seemed too exciting. There was a lot of family fun time at my aunt's 50th birthday party and there was watching the Notre Dame game with some serious fans. There was a touching church tribute to the passengers of downed flight 5191; keep praying for those families by name, y'all. There was the typical "loss but moral victory" UK football game against UofL. There was me driving back to Nashville and getting a stupid speeding ticket from Barney-with-a-lip-goiter in Bardstown. WhatEVER, dude.

4. Okay, so I actually spent Labor Day in Nashville, tanning at the chilly Aspen Grove pool with some of the ladies and then heading out for sushi at P.M. Good times, good times. We win.

So, upon re-reading this post I realize that my life is not really that interesting sometimes, but it was time for an update. And mostly I just wanted a chance to share the Exploding Deer story because, come on, that's a great story. I plan on telling it often.

Scrupulous v. Dodgy

Lately I’ve been thinking about ethics – ethics in the workplace, in all sorts of relationships, in life in general. It goes without saying that for every 100 folks surveyed there exist 100 rationales for why things are right or wrong. And I’d by lying if I didn’t admit to being a spin doctor from time-to-time (not to be confused with a Spin Doctor…of which I will, clearly, never be one…even though I do do a mean rendition of Little Miss). Still, I’m curious about how and why others rationalize and justify their actions, amount of disclosure, life choices, etc. I maybe should have gone into psychology…

So let’s discuss scruples. Not Scruples. Or Scruples. Or Scruples. (though I have respectively played, watched, and used these Scruples.)

I have a work colleague who was transferred here several months back. Apparently, a piece of very personal mail – from her ex – came to her old office. The secretary dutifully opened the mail and passed it along-- legitimately -- to my friend’s successor who then shared the letter with nearly every other person in the office. The letter was eventually intercepted by a true friend who seized the letter for a safe return to my coworker.

I think we can all cut the secretary some slack because we know a lot of business-related info comes addressed to the wrong person. And we can probably even excuse the successor for reading the mail for the same reason. What I personally take exception to is the gossipy, intrusive, and snarky way my friend’s personal information was flounced around her old office. I was outraged when she told me the story, and I’ve never even met these people!

Then I got to thinking: would I really have acted any differently than these folks who enraged me so? The sad truth is that, while I know I would not neccesarily instigate such a bash by parading around with another’s personal document, I would most certainly engage in the reading of the letter/laughing/commenting/ridiculing/etc. if someone else came to me with the scoop. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I know myself.

No real answers here, but it is food-for-thought. And it was a big ol’ wake up call for me; what goes around, comes around. Plain and simple. Thoughts?

Miss Miscellaneous

My whole life I’ve had a great memory. My family even called me “VCR Brain” growing up (I guess they’d call me “TiVo” these days…). Two months after a trip to Disney World I could still recall our parking lot characters/letters from each day’s excursion. So I recognize that others don’t necessarily have the same prowess when it comes to remembering…well, anything…but it never ceases to amaze me when I remember someone and they don’t remember me back.

Just today I ran into someone that I have met several times. We’ve spent enough time in the same crowds that he/she should be able to place my face. But he/she clearly had no clue who I was – not my name, no frame of reference as to where he/she may have met me, nothing.

Which leads me to wonder: am I really that forgettable? I mean, do I make no first impression? Or do others simply not remember people they have seen multiple times? I’m seriously distraught.

And how do I handle such a situation? Do I point out the fact that we have indeed met…several times. Or do I let it slide and chalk it up to my being supreme in all things memory?

The Survey: an uninspired blogger's best friend

I admit it. I'm 100% uninspired when it comes to my blog right now. But I'm also 100% annoyed every time I come to my own page and see nothing new. So I've resorted to the lamest thing around and opted to post a little survey. Let's be honest though: you love me. And you can't get enough information about me. This may or may not qualify you to be my stalker; competition is fierce.

Read on.

What I was doing ten years ago:
August, 1996. I was preparing for my first year of high school. I was spending the majority of my free time on "dates" with my then boyfriend Jeremy Colliver; this consisted of going to movies (Phenomenon and Emma stick out in my mind), renting movies, going to his soccer games, kissing in the church parking lot, and generally being carted around by one another's parents in their respective mini vans. I was helping my sister move into her freshman dorms at Centre College. I had also (finally) lost the pubescent baby fat that had plaqued my 8th grade year; hooray!

Five years ago:
August, 2001. I was returning to the O(K)C for what would prove to be a rough year of college. Had I only known! But back in August '01, I was readying myself for formal recruitment with my wonderful sorority sisters. I was already experiencing anxiety about class, dance, boys, life, etc. DRAMA abounded. I'm sort of amazed that part of my life was only 5 years ago....glad it's over. NEXT.

One year ago:
August, 2005. I was brand spankin' new to Nashvegas. I was having an absolute blast with my new friends, coming up with TAR references and enjoying live music at every possible turn. I went to the beach with my sissy for her birthday, and we had lots of fun and many heart-to-hearts. I was about to begin working at Stone-Me River, a move that would suck away every little bit of free time I had previously enjoyed.

Yesterday:
August 9, 2006. Overslept, which has been my M.O. as of late. Dressed myself in a really cute pink seersucker jacket and khaki pants. Made it to work just 15 minutes late but ran into all of the senior employees on my way in. Worked for a bit. Had lunch at Calypso with the Bowtie. Worked another bit. Contemplated (once again) how I caught E. coli. Considered blogging but came up empty-minded. Worked til the close of the day. Enjoyed a sunshower as I drove home. Exercised. Showered. Ate a pb and jelly sandwich and had a glass of milk. Cleaned up the apartment. Watched Everybody loves Raymond and Sex and the City reruns with the roomie. Hit the hay, ready for another morning of snooze buttons and frantic showering.

Five songs I know all the words to:
Shameless, Garth Brooks
Killing Me Softly, Fugees version
Fantasy, Ludacris
Man With A Plan, Assembly of Dust
Rockin' Into The Night, .38 Special

Five snacks I enjoy regularly:
pretzels
oatmeal raisin cookies
Diet Coke (I think that counts...)
gum
whatever I can get my hands on

Five things I'd do if I won $100 million:
pay off any debts owed by my family
hire a financial manager
quit my job
donate to worthy causes
visit my friends that are strewn about the nation

Five places I would run away to:
Kiawah Island, South Carolina
Jackson Hole, Wyoming
Bedford, Kentucky
Graeter's Ice Cream Shop, Lexington, Kentucky
I will reserve this last spot in case I ever really want to get away and not be found for awhile

Five things I would never wear:
a dickie
Easy Spirit shoes
large floppy bows in my hair (never wear again, that is)
black and navy together
FUBU

Five Favorite TV Shows:
The Wonder Years
Seinfeld
Cheers
Grey's Anatomy
LOST

Five Favorite Toys:
plastic food (for playing restaurant)
Fashion Plates/Fashion Faces
roller skates
Skip-it
Speak 'n Spell

Well, I had fun anyway! I promise I won't put the blah in blog next time.